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God, Garrison Keillor and Tom DeLay

October 11, 2005

If I believed in God I would ask Him: can you make me able to write like Garrison Keillor? Please? I can’t make it through the man’s first paragraph without laughing out loud twice! Here he is advising Tom DeLay on how to deal with his recent troubles. In his own words:

Corporate money not used for political campaigns? The thought is preposterous on its face. Any schoolchild knows that politics is not about highfalutin debates and policy papers; it is about putting the screws to the fat cats and squeezing them until they squeak and then hiring agents to level your hapless opponent with a barrage of rotten fruit and dead cats as you yourself stand above the fray, Bible in hand, your arm around some orphans, eyes upraised to Old Glory, your face nicely lit.

“You, sir, are one brass monkey.” Heh.

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  1. DeLay’s district is where my house is back home. It sucks being anywhere within a 30 mile radius of the guy. Luckily he’s not there that often. Most of the time he’s off traveling on someone else’s tab…



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