Archive for June, 2006

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Gore Film: 5 Stars for Accuracy

June 29, 2006

Dear nation’s top climate scientists:

How dare you! I just read an AP story about how you gave Al Gore’s absurd movie, An Inconvenient Truth, “five stars for accuracy.”

I am dumbfounded by your incopetence and demand that you all resign in shame immeidately. Any “top” scientist who can’t be troubled to consult the internet’s only true source for climate science, RealDebateWisconsin, isn’t worth the paper his diploma is written on.

Go back to school you dullards!

Insincerely,

Scott “my other car is a Hummer” Feldstein

PS. You tree-hugging, America-hating, pointy-headed, elitists seem to get everything wrong! Rush Limbaugh says we have more trees in this country today than when the Declaration of Independence was written! (And trust me, Rush knows about wood!)

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Free the Phones, Man!

June 27, 2006

Hey does anyone know how to unlock a Motorola Razr v3c? I’d really like to be able to do all the things that Verizon doesn’t want me to do because they haven’t got a way to charge me a nickle every time I do them. Problem is, when I google “unlock razr” or similar search terms, all I get are a bunch of unscrupulous-looking sites that want money to unlock it for me. Surely there must be free method. Anyone?

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Kwon Do and the Throw Toy’s Reprieve

June 27, 2006

“Good, I miss my throw toy.”

That’s a direct quote from my demo team self-defense partner at J. K. Lee Black Belt Academy upon hearing of my return from vacation. Luckily I didn’t have to find just out how much she missed me; we ended up doing totally different activities at demo practice tonight.

But on Tuesday nights I always go to the advanced class before demo team practice. I figure I’m already going to be there, so what the heck. That class wasn’t so forgiving. It probably would have been fine had I not hurt my foot a few days ago. I stepped on something in LA and it puncutred my foot. Now it hurts like hell.

Okay, I will, I will! A doctor visit is in my immediate future. Tomorrow in fact.

Anyway, with a hurt foot it makes a lot of things hard. Like kicking. When you kick one foot is the business end while the other supports your body. A hurt foot can do neither well. And that is how my tae kwon do (foot hand way) became simply “kwon do.”

It’s good to be back. Throw toy or not. 🙂

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10,000 Flickr Views

June 27, 2006

Back in December of last year my flickr buddy Eszter passed 10,000 views of her flickr stream. Today my own flickr stream clicked past 10,000 views. Go me! Go flickr!

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Macbook Pro!

June 27, 2006

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Tolkien, Rootedness and Father’s Day

June 26, 2006

When I was nine or ten years old life wasn’t completely roses. Escapism was welcome, when I could find it, and one of the primary sources of such distraction was the local bookstore. It was a little place in a strip mall next to a supermarket and a shop that sold fresh bagels. I’d go there regularly and pore over the shelves of sci fi and fantasy paperbacks, hoping to discern from the covers which ones had the sweetest insides. One day I came home with J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Thus began a lifelong interest in his Middle-earth writings.

Something captivated me about The Hobbit and his later work, The Lord of the Rings. I could not have articulated it at the time, but today I think I can take a stab.

First, his work is what I call fractal fiction, in that even it’s tiniest details are part of a much larger and laboriously worked out narrative, giving it an unparalleled richness of texture. This richness and connectedness goes beyond the extensive backstory, however. Tolkien created his universe to be the missing core of mythology at the center of all existing scraps of English fairy tales and legends. I believe everyone – certainly all Westerners – respond to his work on that level, even without clearly perceiving what is going on.

Second, Tolkien’s use of language itself is so resonant. He chose his words carefully, knowing perhaps more than anyone what the roots of them were and how they related to other words. Of Tolkein’s word use and it’s appeal I once wrote

you can be sure that the author chose a certain word for a very, very particular reason. Even for those who aren’t experts in this field – for us mere mortals who read and speak only one language fluently, even – there is a resonance to his work that this depth of word-meaning gives. I believe that many people have this kind of sensitivity and respond to his work on this level.

I still believe that. I believe that even without knowing Old English or Finnish or Welsh or Norse many of us have a psychological sensitivity to words that can only be fully explained by one who does know them. Those languages live on, after all, in modern ones; and modern language forms the very basis of our capacity for abstract thought. This is deep-rooted stuff. It grabs you and sends a chill up your spine even if you can’t say why.

All of this struck light lightning in my ten-year-old brain. I was reminded of the event on Father’s day when my two children presented me with a leather-bound collector’s edition of The Hobbit, complete with color illustrations by the author himself.

Thanks, guys. It’s a special gift.

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Warning

June 26, 2006

Did you ever notice how some folks on the right like to hide behind military personnel? They do things like print pro-war letters from soldiers and then, when you express a different opinion, they cynically issue forth with their mock indignation: show some respect for the brave men and women who give their very lives to protect your ungrateful, wretched, liberal, peacenik ass!

Well, I see your game. I’m on to you and I ain’t buyin’ it no more. In fact, how dare you! These good people do enough already without having to serve as human shields for your stupid ideas and failed policies. I have a new zero-tolerance approach to righties who use this chickenshit tactic: I will call you out loudly, swiftly and mercilessly. I will embarrass you and shame you. I doubt you will learn anything from it, but I can’t stand to see you do it with impunity any longer.

In public, in private; in a crowded theatre; with a fox, in a box – I’ll be there to rebut your bullshit. You have been warned.