July 15, 2008

Classy, sexy, lovable gal-about-town, Nicole Bruni asked me to do her a favor. Naturally I said yes. Who could say no to your Flickr pal and mine?

Turns out she’s in beauty school and she needed someone to come in for a facial. Some kind of final exam, or something. I had only a vague idea what I was in for, but I agreed.

I showed up early at the Aveda Institute of Beauty and Wellness down in the 3rd ward. So early in fact that I went around the corner to the Wicked Hop to brace myself with a drink first.

When I finally arrived at the school, I filled out a form that seemed half skin care and half psychotherapy. Then I was whisked out of my shirt, given a robe, and was made to soak my feet in a basin full of hot water and stones. Five minutes later I flip-flopped my way to a massage table and laid down. That’s where things got interesting.

It could be the Knob Creek talking, but over the course of the next two hours…

I was violently face pied. I was tenderly hot toweled. I was led cucumber-eyed across vast landscapes of herbal spritzes and exotic essential oils.

I was exfoliated, I was moisturized. I was lifted up, I was put back down down, I was laid out, bitch-slapped and spun around.

It was stupefying. It was invigorating. I was heat-lamped, mummified, anointed, massaged. I think at one point Nicole might have put a bowl of fruit on her head and danced barefoot across my back, but I won’t swear to it.

I don’t think I actually fell asleep at any time, but I certainly found the experience trance-like. Although I’m a habitually rational guy, I felt as though some aspects of spa-world merited just going with it. I had a brief conversation with myself about this. “What’d she just say? Sounds like voodoo,” said one half of my brain. “Oh, just shut up and go with it,” said the other half. So I did.

I don’t know if the whole spa experience is really my thing. I’m enough of a fop as it is, what with my well-known penchant for gourmet shaving and its associated accoutrements. But I definitely won’t shy away from an invitation in the future. In fact, I’m already thinking about when I should redeem the gift card I have for Anton’s Salon & Spa that I acquired as a gift six months ago.

So thanks, Nicole. Thanks for relaxing me and making me smell good. And thanks for broadening my experience.

No comments yet

  1. […] Scott wrote a funny bit about his spa experience with me last night. I’m still laughing. […]

  2. I had the Aveda spa day once, too. Amazing. The facial was the most drugged-like part. I go to one for my haircuts. Just the head and neck massage before the cut is wonderful. I am whisked away, I propose marriage, the young ladies chuckle at the old funny man.

  3. Why is it when I read this I think of that scene in Joe vs. the Volcano, where they put an octopus on his face?

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