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Don’t fool yourselves: winter is upon us.

November 21, 2008

I don’t care what the calendar says, to me it’s winter.

We had a nice fall, though, don’t you think? I recall hearing an expert on the radio saying that our trees were a couple of weeks behind schedule this year due to a wet spring or a dry summer or something like that. But the upshot was that our fall color started a little late. I’m just glad it also ended a little late, too, and that the leaves weren’t knocked down prematurely by frost or rain or wind.

But now it’s winter. How do I know this? Because I’ve suffered temperatures in the teens on more than one morning commute. I’m as hardy a Wisconsinite as the next guy, but when it’s that cold you give in and wear a hat, am I right?

By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what happens to those poor souls who put off their leaf raking too long, wonder no more: Garrison Keillor’s column in Salon this week gives you the scoop this week in Salon.

“Meanwhile, those unraked leaves of slackers will freeze and form a hard crust and kill the grass. In the spring, they’ll seed and lay sod but grass will never grow there again, due to powerful toxins created by unraked leaves, and as a result those homes will lose half their value and the non-rakers will go bankrupt. They will lie awake at night, thinking, “Why? Why did I not rake those leaves when my neighbors raked theirs?” It was the romanticism of autumn, the need to be unique and to march to your own drummer. Too late now. Those families will be forced to migrate south and pick cotton and live in shotgun shacks and eat biscuits and gravy with hubcaps for plates and be tormented by red-eyed evangelists and banjo-picking albinos and clouds of horseflies and cottonmouth snakes slithering into the bedroom at night.”

Let that be a lesson to you.

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No comments yet

  1. I always wear a hat, regardless of season…and now that I shave my skull, I do not need to worry about hat head. I do get some strange looks when I wear my drover hat with ear muffs, though.


  2. Nice replacement hat, honey!
    I would wear one with those ear thingies.


  3. […] See original […]


  4. […] Scott Feldstein says don’t look at the calendar. It’s winter. […]


  5. …and today, it has begun. (actual snow on the ground here… it’s not even thanksgiving!)



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