100 things

Last modified November 3, 2008

scott d. feldstein

  1. You can tell how busy I am with a surprising degree of accuracy by how many icons are on my computer’s desktop.
  2. What you call “a piece of gum,” I call “a gum,” as in “can I have a gum?” or “do you want a gum?”
  3. Peanut butter: chunky is better than creamy.
  4. I’ve been deer hunting once or twice, but never shot anything. I have no problem with the practice, but neither do have a lot of opportunity to take it up as a hobby.
  5. I do not own a gun.
  6. I do own three samurai swords and a 14-foot whip.
  7. The word “bagel” – it’s pronounced bay-gle not bag-gle. So stop already with this shit.
  8. Macintosh all the way, baby.
  9. I have had my own web site since December of 1995.
  10. I was born in 1968 and I was adopted in 1970.
  11. I would like to see, know about and even meet my birth parents.
  12. I do not believe in anything supernatural.
  13. My face is asymmetrical. I hate that.
  14. My left side is my good side, such as it is.
  15. I don’t like crowds. When I’m in one I never participate in crowd things like shouting in unison.
  16. My IQ was once measured at 146 but I still don’t know my multiplication tables.
  17. I love to speak in front of groups. Seriously.
  18. I love to write but I wish I was better at it.
  19. I never used to like laptops – until I owned one. Now it’s hard to imagine being without one.
  20. I like coffee. Not Folger’s made in a Mr. Coffee. I’m talking about gourmet, fresh-roasted, whole-bean good stuff. I even have my own espresso maker.
  21. I have never received a speeding ticket. Or any other moving violation. Ever.
  22. I usually drink diet soda (and caffeine-free when I can get it).
  23. Pepsi over Coke, though not with anything like religious fervor.
  24. Though I’m originally from Los Angeles, as a Wisconsinite I say “soda.”
  25. I am married to a citizen of the United Kingdom.
  26. I love to cook, though I claim no special skill at it. I simply follow recipes and keep making the ones I like.
  27. I almost never watch television. I don’t have cable or satelite or even an antenna for broadcast TV.
  28. I’m very picky about movies. I won’t even waste my time unless I am very sure that I will like it. I view trailers and read reviews to help make sure.
  29. I am very picky about reading fiction. I won’t even pick a book up unless I am convinced that I will love it. I have to know and like the author, or have read positive reviews or something for me to even consider it.
  30. My favorite living author is William Gibson.
  31. My favorite dead author is J. R. R. Tolkien. I realize that to average people this makes me a pathetic nerd. I realize that to the literati this makes me embarrassingly uncouth. I don’t care on either account.
  32. I hate being interrupted when I’m writing.
  33. For optimal mental health I need an hour or two to myself every day.
  34. I love original Tropicana orange juice.
  35. I hate having the television on when nobody is watching it.
  36. I could not care less about professional or college sports. Not football, baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer, badminton, foosball or table tennis. None of it. I could not tell you who won what last night, nor would I know a Green Bay Packer if I were pissing on one.
  37. I like dogs. I am suspicious of people who don’t.
  38. I cannot write poetry.
  39. I do not want to be buried in a cemetery. Put my cremated remains in some handsome container and let my descendants keep me. In the attic if necessary, I don’t care. Just don’t leave me in some memorial park.
  40. I like good pocket knives. I even have a small collection of them.
  41. I do not put holiday lights up outside my house.
  42. I have a knack for picking out the perfect Christmas tree.
  43. I don’t see why people are so crazy about crab and lobster.
  44. Claussen dill pickles, yes. Other brands, no. Sweet pickles, hell no.
  45. My pizza has pepperoni and black olives on it. It may also have sausage, onions, mushrooms and various other items – but it may not have green peppers.
  46. I like to chat with the people behind the counter at the convenience store and the coffee shop.
  47. I like to bake bread and apple pie.
  48. I do not advocate illegal music downloading. But at the same time I don’t feel compelled to re-purchase music I bought years ago on vinyl or cassette.
  49. I like to grocery shop. Especially when there’s a football game on and everybody’s glued to their televisions.
  50. I like good incense.
  51. I am generally nonviolent person, but if you gave me five minutes alone with the sons of bitches who spam the comments of my blog something bad might happen to them.
  52. I dropped out of high school.
  53. I once jumped out of a perfectly good airplane.
  54. I like to imagine that my children or grandchildren might like reading the stuff on my blog one day.
  55. I decided to try vegetarianism on August 12th, 2005. I stuck it out for three months. perhaps I’ll go back to it one day. It wasn’t too bad, and I understand that it carries a lot of health benefits.
  56. I like mayonnaise but only in small amounts. I cannot tolerate Miracle Whip (which I derisively refer to as Mystery Whip).
  57. Generally I don’t go for sweet, creamy coffee drinks. I like coffee without all that stuff. In fact I sometimes order just a double espresso.
  58. This is where I used to live as a kid.
  59. Google is 75% of my brain, my computer’s dictionary is another 20%. The remainder is half-remembered shit from college. Put it all together and I sometimes look pretty knowledgeable.
  60. Boxer-briefs.
  61. Wooden pencils, never mechanical ones.
  62. I like legal pads.
  63. I have two framed Lord of the Rings movie posters. I also have a framed poster of Thomas Eddison and one of Alfred Hitchcock.
  64. I fucking hate Scooby Doo. Always have. Ditto with The Flintstones and The Jetsons (which were, after all, the same show).
  65. I am not very good at chess. I don’t have the patience for it and it just doesn’t fire my imagination. It’s a little too much like an algebra contest.
  66. I bit my fingernails until the day I graduated college. On that day I spontaneously stopped.
  67. I still have all my books, notes and handouts from just about every college course I ever took.
  68. I have no tattoos but I would like to get one. Or two.
  69. My handwriting is atrocious. Much of the time I print instead. And even that is atrocious.
  70. I listen to Public Radio. I do not generally listen to other radio stations.
  71. I always remember to silence my cell phone. I’m the guy that turns to everyone else and says “phasers on stun!” when entering a theater.
  72. I still get on kicks where I play my favorite new album over and over again for weeks.
  73. My all-time favorite video games include The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Warcraft II.
  74. I never played D&D though I was exactly the kind of kid who’d have enjoyed it a lot. I feel a little cheated.
  75. New socks are invigorating.
  76. A good haircut is invigorating.
  77. Sometimes reading really good writing makes me jealous.
  78. I have never met a printer that I really liked. Most of them are rickety money pits that only break your heart in the end. The only ones that have ever come close to being worthwhile are the Tektronix/Xerox solid ink models.
  79. I once had a job selling season tickets to the symphony.
  80. Before I worked in the technology field I worked in the social service / mental health field. (It’s not as different as you might think.)
  81. Though I am a professed atheist these days, I once majored in religious studies as a college student.
  82. I am a member of psi chi and theta alpha kappa, though I’m sure nobody much cares.
  83. My most grievous academic regret is that I abandoned the religious studies major in my senior year.
  84. I never used to get headaches. Those that I did get could usually be dispelled with espresso and advil. (In the last year or so, however, I have been getting some wicked-nasty headaches. What gives? Sinuses? Migraine? I don’t know.)
  85. I am directionally challenged. I understand locations in much the same way Picasso understood faces.
  86. If I could do only one thing for a living it would probably be teaching.
  87. I get annoyed with people who touch computer screens when they point at the things that are being displayed.
  88. My favorite time of year is fall.October in Wisconsin can’t be beat.
  89. I worry sometimes that I act like a bloody know-it-all.
  90. I worry sometimes that I use too many Brittishisms like “bloody.”
  91. I’m very aware of beautiful speaking voices.
  92. Vasectomy. I highly recommend it.
  93. When my youngest turns 18 I will be turning 43.
  94. Me and shoe prices parted ways years ago and there’s no reconciliation in sight.
  95. I cannot sleep in a car. Nor in a chair. Nor can I inadvertently fall asleep while watching a movie.
  96. Standing around makes my back hurt.
  97. I do not like ham gravy. In fact I do not even recognize that there is such a thing as ham gravy.
  98. I suspect that airline tickets, automobiles and cell phone plans are all scams because of how ridiculously complicated their pricing is.
  99. Plants with oversized flowers give me the creeps.
  100. I made this entire list without looking at anyone elses “100 things” list.
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